Thursday, 18 August 2016

Is that me ?

Recently, a lot of bloggers  have discussed their personal battles with their physical appearance. For me, I've  felt low when I've been reminiscing through old photos it's made me feel  very conscious of current body shape. Over a year ago. I had gotten to ten stone. I felt happy until I suddenly gained two stone, and  now, weighing twelve stone meaning my BMI is in th obese category since  I'm 5ft 1.

My body shape is a pear  like most British women meaning a slimmer upper body  compared to a lower half of big hips, a big bottom, large thighs and saddle bags. I'm more of a muscular hourglass,a pear bottom and muscular calfs. On a positive note, I  seem to carry  my weight well but I would love to be ten stone again. 

Sometimes it's hard to believe how active I used to be as a kid,  I was always very active I cycled, rode horses and swam. I stopped being active, I went into a slump since struggled with fluctuating weight. When I was a student, I never ate so well I lived on veg broth, tinned sardines, yoghurt and fruit. I also had gruelling days of working in eleven hours shifts gaining experience being on my feet every day. I failed my first year, also I had a lot of personal issues going on as well, me being my worst enemy, I struggled with my dyslexia as I have issues with sequencing and unable to retain information definitely not what you from a surgical nurse. I don't reget doing it. 

I'm quite fortunate that most of  my clothes still fit be reasonably well, but I tend to prefer stretchy fabrics. A couple of my skirts are slight too tight it's kind of depressing I no longer feel comfortable wearing them. I still aim to lose the weight somehow.

I've cheered up to tonight as I received some photographs that were taken last week for an event I've ended up being involved in organising. They made feel more positive about my body images. 

So a couple of months again, I suggested to the Manger of Bensham Grove. I've blogged about this place a few times, it's where I go for sewing classes, I just love the place. Anyway, I'm wondering off topic, so I suggested about holding a goth or alternative event, so I didn't think much of it. About a month ago, we had a meeting about what the event will be and potential ideas. Today, we've had another meeting with one of the Trustees and finalising ideas for the events. Instead, the event turned into a seasonal mystical themed event with independent crafters, workshops and beverages. 

Doing some of the photos were fun, one my said they would come and be a "model"( I don't really see this as modelling or anything more a bit of laugh). So, she dropped as she was busy with work, it was a shame. It was fun having dressed up in my goth finery that hasn't seen the light of day for centuries. The manager had lit the Garden with lanterns and the house looked beautiful it felt  very fairy tale. The photo was taken just during Twilight when the sun set. To try and create a mystical, and spooky feel. 

Below are some of my Favourites. 

This was the picture that has been chosen to advertise the event:


  1. These photos are gorgeous!
    Having a pear shaped body is something I know very well. This shape is so obnoxious, but hey, at least we have curves!

  2. Thanks it was fun doing it. Pear shapes are annyoying. Especially when it comes to wearing dresses I find it hard wearing one suits my figure. Or you have go to the bigger size for hips and waists hanging off you. Its a good thing I can sew. Thank Odin we have stretchy fabrics lol. Your right at least we got curves.

  3. Thee pictures are great. I understand your frustration with weight. I've been trying to get serious about losing some weight myself not only for appearance but health too.

    1. Thanks. The reason for loosing weight is for both vanity and health reasons. In one way I'm lucky as none of my family have diabetes and their a history of cardiovascular issues.I wanna to avoid at all costs. But sometimes, after working in geriatric health it's just sometimes luck.

  4. I love these photos! You look beautiful :)

  5. These photos are amazing and so is your outfit^^ I'm so sorry to hear about your frustration with weightgain, I've always thought you had a really lovely figure, but of course, I understand you...I used to be much thinner as well, but now I also struggle losing the extra pounds...:/

  6. Oh thank you that so lovely of you to say. Looking from some you photos your figure looks amazing.

    I do miss being ten stone. At the same time I should count my blessings of at least I'm healthy there are people worse off. It's just so infuriating I can't seem to loose a pound. T

    he dress is by Sinister,I love Sinsiter and my skirt from Raven. I just don't bother wearing them.The jacket I got years ago for 5 pound. The hat I bought when I went to the Beer and Cider festival.

  7. You look gorgeous! I've not fitted the "ideal" female shape for a long time!

    1. Thank you that so sweet. I wish I could get back to being healthy weight. I think you always look lovely.

  8. Having met you, I know you look lovely, but I also know it's how we perceive ourselves that bothers us. I do love the photos of you.

    Us shorties rock!

  9. Thank you that's so lovely of you to say. I'm no acception to that rule. I'm my own worst enemy I have an issue of destroying things through not accepting it's fine.

    I would love to be taller but there are advantages to being short like being terrifying lol.


Life Update.

Hi, it's been a very long hiatus, not to say the least. Since my last post, a lot happened in October. I had a death in the family ...