Finally, finding the right councillor

In regards to blogging, I’ve always wanted to keep certain parts of my life and opinions separate from blogging. From being a teenager, I always had some sort of stress or negative feeling that inhibited me from reaching my full potential. I don’t feel as my life has been horrendous. I’ve experienced bullying throughout school, exclusion by other close friends breaking my trust and self-isolation. One of the major factors is I never fully gotten over these experiences or developed healthy coping strategies not to mention a superb detailed orientated long term memory and tendency to never let things go.

One of the worst experiences of my life, was when I was sixteen, I felt I started to find myself and gained confidence. Unfortunately , I met someone, who was both mentally and emotionally unstable intern pushing me to my limits of sanitary. They also constantly accused me of false accusations that I was cheating on him, however, if he looked at my schedule including college I simply didn’t have the time or physical or emotional energy to contemplate. This relationship also left a lot of emotional baggage, I’m still dealing through.


As time has moved forward, I certainly changed as a person and with other aspects that have remained the same. I’m possibly a lot more patient and less quick to respond to my temper. Other issues such as low self-esteem, avoiding confrontation and possibly taking things away to personal at times. As originally stated, I have now reached a point in my life where I no longer want to feel so low.

In past, I have sought counselling before but I’ve started though because I’ve felt better I stopped going and the same cycle kept reoccurring. The last time I tried cognitive behaviour therapy, I found this assisted for a short period until I stopped attending the sessions.

I self-referred myself to my local mental health team in an attempt to initiate change in dealing with my issues. Fortunately, one of the benefits of residing in the United Kingdom we have the NHS (National Health Service). I don’t have to pay for to see a counsellor but I’m limited to eight sessions of forty-five minute with the potential of possible referral if necessary.


So for the last few weeks, I have been a qualified mental nurse who specialises in Psychotherapy where I’ve been discussing personal events that have affected my personal perspective, how I deal with my low moods and stress.


I finally feel as though I have found a counsellor I could open up to I find her very empathetic without being patronising, and she makes me feel relaxed. She also has vast clinical knowledge who suggested that I may have dysthymia.


According to Mayo Clinic:

Persistent depressive disorder, also called dysthymia (dis-THIE-me-uh), is a continuous long-term (chronic) form of depression. You may lose interest in normal daily activities, feel hopeless, lack productivity, and have low self-esteem and an overall feeling of inadequacy. These feelings last for years and may significantly interfere with your relationships, school, work and daily activities.

I do feel the sessions have helped but I think this is the first stage in dealing with these issues, as only I can change my perspective but at least the councillor is educating me in how to deal with these issues. I do feel disappointed that I can only have eight sessions but I may try and seek a support a group to help after finishing the session I feel there is some improvement.

Yesterday's Outfit.

Yesterday wasn't an exciting day; I didn;t get up to anything worth blogging about it. I just simply enjoyed the unusual weather that's resembled summer than Spring. The recent weather is most the UK's summer. our sunny days are rare occasions but when the sun beams it's rays I wouldn't want to be anywhere else, sadly it doesn't last long.


When the sun does come out to shine,  I like to wear skirts mainly long one made from natural fabric, vest tops, with light cardigans and Mary Jane shoes. I hate wearing sandals and have a complete obversion to them.

My outfit pics.

Cardigan - Betty Jackson -Charity Shop 

Vest Top - Marks and Spencer - Mam's handy downs

Skirt - Made by me 

Shoes - Charity shop

Bags 

DKNY bag - Charity shop 

Kitty Shopping bag - Monsoon Yonkers ago, I love it. 

This week charity finds

Last week was a busy week. I had to go to Sunderland on Tuesday it allowed to search the charity shop. I didn't find much apart from a damask tray for seventy-five pence and items from  Poundland including some black plastic basket that looks like wicker and a jewelry hanger with a Celtic motif

On Thursday, I had to organize my passport which warranted a trip to Durham as this is my nearest passport office. Usually,  I would opt for the bus, but I couldn't be bothered with an hour journey, so I got the train, and was there ten minutes. I planned  for the Passport appointment to be a long one, but  surprised it took less than ten minutes. I went thifting and  in the past Durham has tended lucrative with quality finds.

I found two beautiful tops first, a sparkly Karin Millian sparkly cardigan perfect for the summer. 

Second a Victorian style silk blouse made by Linea £4, this needs some alterations on the sleeves.

 

I found a black and white cat memo holder for £1 

On Saturday, I had to go to Whitley Bay; my sewing machine finally stopped working as its had tension and stitching issues for a while. I drop it off to a sewing repair shop and it may cost £40 but personally it may be more. I took another opportunity to venture around the charity shops. 

 I bought two tops from the charity shop 

I like the crocheting detail on the neckline; epscially how it resdmbles a spider's web. 

The crochet detail going down the arm 

This top made by Boden has embroidery detail 

A close up of the embroidery detail 

I also bought a pair of shoes, they looked brand new, and they orginal price was £8, but it was 75 percent off, so I paid £2. I think they look fantastic, and I love the lace detail. 

Searching for Kitchen ware and bathroom ware

On my days off I've been searching the charity shops for some home kitchenware and bathroom accessories. To no avail, I haven't found anything of interest I have a particular look in mind  I'm after something with a damask pattern, or a gothic easthetic Ive searched everywhere possible. 

 I've found these jar. However, they 're from the states, and  one jar is  £9 and calculating the cost of three jars along with international shipping it's going to be £42 or nearly $60. Despite how gorgeous they are, I simply can't justify that price. I am getting to the point where I may buy some cheap black jars and stencil a damask pattern. 

Source


However, during my day off I managed to find a damask tray to place the canister. I bought the tray for seventy-five pence I could use.

I also found this jar for £1 sadley there was only one jar if there had been another two I would used these as cannisters. 

For bathroom I've been looking for black accessories with damask motif again, I haven't found anything to match. I did find this plastic one with a plastic crystal cut at the bottom. But for the price for two sets I'm going to pay £17 a game and I need two sets I'm going to pay £36 for two items. 

While researching, I came across Asda a supermarket chain in the U.K  but owned by Walmart. It's changed the colour scheme to grey and purple I was originally planning for a black and white scheme. I found some excellent damask accessories incorporating damask patterns and complementary bathroom mat.  The set are much cheaper and look better quality. 

The first set is £8

Source

I'm unsure of the full price., I do like the different style of damask items 

Source

The rug is £8 

Painting it Black, again.

It's becoming a common site on my front street being seen spray painting something black and my front wall starting to show the effects. Even my upstairs neighbour  knew it was me spray paint by the smell of the paint and suggested black again. I explained I preferred black accessories.

I try spraying painting when the street is empty so in the early morning or lateish night I strive to  avoid painting when  people are walking by or children playing. I'm guilty of sometimes doing around in the afternoon and to try best to minimise the risk of affecting others.

This week, I have bought a containers for putting fragrances in such as potpourri. I plan to hang in the sitting rooms or bedroom. I forgot to take a before picture

Usually,  I haven't bothered using a primer for somethings it's been fine but with other I've noticed chipping, so I thought this may be due to not using a primer, so I'll see if this sworks.I used a primer from Wilko's  brand, spray painting black satin, sprayed lacquer and once dried added a ribbon.I think the black enhances the Fleur de Lis pattern a. I left the interior of the container its original colour.  

 A few weeks ago, on a charity shop hunt, I came across a pair of leather shoes. I've been looking for summer shoes and unable to find any that appealed. I found a pair of purple shoes for £2.50, and I sprayed paint them black I primed these before spray painting using Wilko's black satin, but didn't use the lacquer. 

Before

After

Stained glass making

Yesterday, I met up with Kerry-Anne, my is crafting buddy, we've been good friends and met through my ex. 

We both share a love of crafting and sampling different arts, Kerry- Anne suggested trialling out stained glass. We trialled glass techniques before, where we made glass bubbles by blowing glass and adding colourful pigments. Below is the bauble I made the last Christmas. 

Making stained glass is completely different in comparison to blowing glass. It's more labour intensive and more dangerous when cutting glass goes flying around and risk of cutting a finger or burning finger off soldering.

 We had fun making the glass. However, it was frustrating attempting to cut the glass and  Kerry- Anne appeared to of mastered the craft easier than I did. She seemed made a  perfect stained glass piece but confessed it was difficult. For my item, I kept needing assistance from the tutor, as I started made the Sun first and very curvy, certainly the most difficult to cut.out. Most my pieces never seemed to cut correctly, and difficulty in cutting the led. I felt like the special kid in the class that was struggling but again  I always feel like that it takes me a couple attempts to learn new techniques.

We arrived and provided with a simple design of a sun and fields.We chose the colours for the design; we had to scratch the glass following through to the edge to edge. A line the cutter on the scratched line and press down and separated the glass. There were nibbles to neaten the edges. The glass was cut and laid onto the template. The lead had to be straightened out as was bendable one but it was so malleable and bend into shape quickly.  The larger pieces of lead were moulded to fit around the edges of the stained glass, and the thinner pieces were used to for the inner edges. This process was laborious and fiddly to complete, as it meant the glass pieces needed to neaten to place them in the window. All the glass joints were had to be scratched with a wire brush and rubbed with tallow. The edge was soldered together. 

  

The tutor was very friendly, but direct went straight into instructing how to make the stained glass as there was a group of twelve. The instructor explained typically only ten people attended, and any more than this is hard to teach.  The tutor made everything looked easier when displaying the techniques. Through the afternoon, she was cordial and chatted about her experience. 

Kerry-Anne suggested about enrolling in the intermediate class; I explained I would like to do another beginner class befoe considering it, I think it I would beneficial attending another beginners course. The tutor mentioned she had another design available if we were interested. 

I enjoyed completing the course despite the difficulties I encountered. I think attending  the session with a friend made it more enjoyable as we chatted and laughed at our mistakes. It meant we were spending time together and learning a new craft. One best things were at the end of the session we had something to take home rather than collecting it again. I'm surprised at the lack of cuts, usually, I'm so accident prone. 

The havoc from making the window 

My final result. 

Beer and cider festival and silly hats.

This week at work has been incredibly stressful, but fortunately, on Wednesday, it was the 40th annual Newcastle Beer and Cider Festival, so I've spent three days sampling different ciders. I posted last year about my first beer and cider festival. 


The festival promotes Camera's ethos of championing the traditional methods of brewing beer. The festival allows people to taste different and unusual beers and ciders that wouldn't normally be served in this part of the country. The event was held over four days. Starting from Wednesday until Saturday. The festival separates into the beer bar serving over 140 varieties. The upstairs bar served 48 different ciders and perries, personally meant I only enjoyed a small selection since I love cider.


The event started on Wednesday night with only a few people attending so I started on the ciders and we met up with a few friends. Discussing the different drinks and sampling each others in an attempt to decide what to drink. Wednesday night was the most pleasant due to the lack of people.


I frequently review the proper cider I'm drinking but on Wednesday evening, I wasn't particularly interested in reviewing. I managed to post one.


Orchard Pig- marmalade described as a sweet more of a medium, amber cloudy. Aftertaste of marmalade taste


Thursday


Thursday was the most fun day; I arrived at the venue at two o'clock. Everybody was enjoying a spread of food. I had packed a flask of Earl Grey tea, egg mayo sandwiches and baked scones. My scones got the thumbs up and many compliments. I started chatting with the knowledgeable "Cider Tarts" on which cider to start to try, so I was advised on the Moonshine and opted for it.


My review Burdock - Moonshine, light, medium cider with a greenish amber colour. V. Pleasant and light with taste of sweet apple taste hint of acid taste


On Thursday, everybody was donning hats as Thursday tends to be silly hat day. The hats are sold by a local charity to raise money. The table I was sitting with the group of people had already bought a couple of posh hats resembling Mother of the Bride.


I went to the hat table where I started looking at a variety of hats and the charity volunteers suggested a couple. I selected three and the vendors suggested another went to look in the mirrors. The boyfriend came over to investigate what I was up and asked if I had chosen one. I explained I chose four the boyfriend said you only need one. I defended stating I liked all of them and it didn't matter. I even got some support from the sellers who explained it not about need it's about want. I think he knew he was out of his depths and disappeared to get another beer. He came back asking if I had chosen one and I said no, so he got something out of his pocket and bought the hats. He's lovely really.



I went back with the hats everybody commented on them. Everybody started trying them on I'm so fortunate as I suit hats and all they suited me. Even the boyfriend got into the spirit of Silly hat Thursday by wearing the hats. .

The boyfriend is donning my new summer hat; surprisingly he suits it.

Personally, he suits the beret, so he wore it most of the night.

Here one of me wearing my velvet hat 

In comparison to last year, despite a more extended range of ciders, I found that most tasted far too sweet everything tasted like glucose and vinegar with the sedimentary feel. I only und a small portion I enjoyed but after discussing with the Cider Tart they highlighted they only like a small selection thanks to their wise advice I found a couple that won my top three.




top three were




National Treasure, (never wrote a review), Moon Shine and my favourite Two Trees




Me getting served at the cider bar, I'm surprised at how short I am.

My cider reviews for Thursday

Celtic Marshes - Ruby Tuesdays, it grows on you. Ruby amber colour summer fruits and certainly taste the raspberry. More of a heavier constituency.








Gwynt Y Ddraig two tree Perrys- very pleasant with a light honey taste without being too overpowering and or sweet. Accompanied by sweet apples, v. lovely drink





Sherborne - Traditional - odd tasting cider not amazing but no horrible either. Starts off sweet and ends up v. dry. But v. Tannin taste. Not sure


Hallets Oak Real oak draught- v. Bland tastes more of an ale than cider without the hoppiness. It's ok to drink. Tastes too much of an oak flavour from the barrels for me.


We stayed till about nine as the bar was becoming to crowded so we headed off to a couple more bars with our friend Phil. We stayed out till about 12:30.

 Outfit

Top - Monsoon - charity shop

Skirt -  sewn myself

B

y Friday I felt all cidered out and exhausted; it took me a while to pull myself around. I arrived at the venue about 2:30 pm and opted to stick with my favourite drinks Moon Shine and Two Trees. It was great to see our friend Sarah who has recently had her first child.




Friday felt quite uncomfortable as more people were attending the festival, so became crowded and very noisy. Also, Friday, the festival started running out of drinks. Everybody began to leave around fiveish, and the boyfriend and I headed to another pub.


Outfit

Top- made me and featured in a previous post

Boot - Primark 

Necklace - Laser Panda Design

Finishing DIY projects.

Over the weekend, I've attempted to finish off  some projects I've meant to complete

1.  Cork Memo Board

, I finally found some corks to purchase to finish off my memo board. In the end, I took the boyfriend's suggestion to half the corks; I glued them down using PVC glue and to used black string to fill in the edges. After calculating the cost of materials, it cost £6.35 to make since I had to purchase more wine corks. I realise I could have bought something allot cheaper. I prefer this as more individual and to my taste. 


2. Changing Handles on my craft cupboard 

Since decorating my cupboard, I've disliked the handles of the cabinet but unsure about what I wanted it. I went shopping to B&M bargain and found a pack of black pumpkin shape handle for £2.99 pack. I fell in love with the shape as they remind me of pumpkins.I think the new handles finish of the cupboards perfectly.

Before 

After 

3. Spray painting a shoe rack 

Last weekend my clothes rail collapsed under the weight of my clothing, I bought a new one but the one I purchased didn't have a shoe rack. I purchased a shoe rack from B&M bargains. Unfortunately, it only came in cream so I've sprayed painted it black using Wilko's black satin spray paint and  Wilko's lacquer to protect from wear and tear. 

Before 

Source

After